15th Mar 2010

Can a friendship between an atheist and a believer work?

  • I mean can they be close friends? Do you have any experience of it working, and how did you make it work?

    I'm asking because since becoming an atheist, I have found it difficult.


  • I've been best friends with a girl since we were 7, now we're 22. She's a hardcore believer, and I'm the total opposite. We now live in different states but are still great friends, I just took a vacation to her place and stayed a week, which was awesome.

    I think you just have to ignore your beliefs sometimes to be friends.


  • Of course. We atheists would have a hard time if it couldn't-- there aren't that many of us. The key, however, is that neither party be judgmental of the other.

    I'm an atheist, and so to me, any theistic views seem completely silly. To a theist, atheism is not only completely false, but also your ticket to an eternity in hell. I know this about my theistic friends, and they know this about me. We respectfully disagree, and on rare occasions debate the subject in a FRIENDLY way.

    The atheist must recognize that being a theist doesn't automatically make you an illogical idiot or a mindless sheep, and the theist must recognize that being an atheist doesn't make you immoral or evil.


  • yes you can, for one thing, don't talk about religion. Plain and simple. I imagine that there are other things you can talk about and do together. You got to remember, we are all people, and we are all the same when you get down to it.


  • I have many close friends that are religious. They are all very understanding. You have to learn to read people, some can handle a civil conversation regarding religion, but most take it very personally. For the most part my religious friends and I just don't talk about it much. They don't try to change me, I don't try and chan ge them and we all understand that they are beliefs, they are not who we are and we are no better or worse than one another because of them.


  • My closest friend (and I do mean close --we discuss everything, including religion) is one of this forum's fundamentalist Christians. He thumps his Bible so loudly that I hear it 5 hours away.

    I am an atheist. We are inseparable.

    It's all about r-e-s-p-e-c-t.


  • Yeah. :) But if they make you feel bad, they're not good friends. Good luck!


  • My best friend is a Pentecostal. We agree that beyond one difference, we have much more in common. I jokingly call him The Pentium Pentecostal since he's a software engineer and sys admin. He loves that name and says he's going to have a t-shirt made with the saying on the front.


  • I have been an atheist for years and never has it been an issue. I don't bring it up though. Only my wife and a handful of others know and I don't proselytize so there's no problem.


  • Yeah I'm Atheist and my best friend is a full and all out christian.


  • It depends on the believer... some believers are accepting of other people's beliefs...

    while some are really... fundamental and homophobic..


  • yes. i had a best friend who was an extremely strong beleiver and you just have to learn to ignore the religious differences and get along normal. you didn't change, only your beleifs. if you and your friends got along before, you still can now.


  • At the beginning it might seem so. But lets face it, no 2 people with such radical beliefs can coexist. At some point there will be a dispute. Of course the conflict is going to be minor always.
    I believe a barrier is created in this case and things can never be the same as before. I am not saying this is a rule. I will be glad if there were any exception of this general "rule" since in any belief there exists the goal that all man and women should live in peace and harmony ( although in this days that is truly impossible )

    Man kind has not reached yet a level of civilization nor intelligence that would allow this to happen


  • What you describe has often been a source of friction......people love their belief systems and would rather wage war and kill and die than open their minds.

    But if you can make it work, then peace to you!


  • Most of my friends are either atheists or not particularly strong theists. I don't think I could ever hold a relationship with a fundie.



  • Yes.


  • Yes, I am living proof of that.


  • Sure, most all of my friends are believers...


  • no, they (believers) are not at mine intellectual level,

    but i can tolerate them


  • Hi Anita. ;)
    It can work out, actually! Though, of course that totally depends on what kind of person we are talking about.. There are Christians who are tolerant of others, and there are Christians who aren't. It's easier to stay away from the latter group, and keep socializing with the former.

    Anyway, I'm an atheist too. And I do actually have a friend who is a born-again, fundamentalist Christian. I think she is gullible and delusionary. She thinks I'm sinful and demon-possessed, and she also thinks I'll be going to hell when I die.. We both know it deep down, how the other one feels about this issue.. But we still make it work, somehow!

    How..? Well, in the beginning it was incredibly hard! We are both very convinced of our own, respective viewpoints, so we fought about it a lot back then. However, as time passed by, we found ways to avoid the topic all together. Because we really, REALLY wanted to keep our friendship intact...

    The key is to be able to agree on disagreeing! Mutual respect is also important. At times, we do get into heated arguments. But we can always make up again afterwards! Sometimes we even choose to laugh about it instead of arguing. Which is really, really awesome.. ;)

    However, you must get them to accept that you are an atheist. And of course you must accept them in return, for whatever they are. Proselytizing is a bad, BAD idea!! If they refuse to stop proselytizing, it is not going to work. So you'll have to give them an ultimatum: Either you take me as I am, or we can forget about this whole thing right away.

    Good luck. =D
    *Hug*.


  • I have plenty of friends that are not religious, and some that are anti religion. I have only one rule, they treat me with respect.
    This is the thing. If someone starts the arrogant Dawkins, homophobia, stupid... line with me, they lose my respect real fast.
    I don`t know about you, but this is the only way.


  • yes, you can be friends provided you have mutual respect for each other


  • Sure, I have have. Just don't bring the whole religion thing up.


  • Count me in on the 'living proof' category.

    I have a friend who prays every time I put in a horror flick... or anything with a little titty.


  • 99% of my friends are believers.
    We just don't talk about our beliefs.


  • If two people really like each otherr and get along I don't see why not.







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